OK, so I admit it, though AJ will probably rightfully smack me on the head. I admit that I have read every single Harry Potter book just as they have been released, like everybody else in the western world (except for AJ). I read it just like all the other releases: like a crackhead huffing down rocks, page after bloodshot, bleary eyed page, until I was done and free... until the next bender.
Predictably, this episode offers a slew of magical creatures, artifacts, good wizards, bad wizards, funny Englishy names, new magical spells, and trouble at Hogwarts, all of which coalesce around a central mystery which comes together in a climactic scene at the end of the book. And, as promised by Miss Rowling, there is a healthy dose of death dealt out, though not to any of the central characters. A number of scenarios from previous books come together in this one, and this is where I was surprised to find that I didn't care about the crack (book) to the degree befitting a proper crackhead. Wondering what exactly the history of the deluminator was, who in the hell Bellatrix Lestrange was, and what exactly a hoof nosed garbledy snook was, I would ask my wife, "honey, do you remember who/what/why..." to which she would reply, "nope". Realizing that I had the option of going back through the other 6 books to figure it all out, I also realized that I didn't care enough to do so. I simply glossed over the concept and ploughed ahead, sort of like in my Customer Insights class back in MBA school.
Perhaps even more un-crackhead-like, at the end I was actually glad to be out of crack (book)! When I was finally done reading, with all the characters safely tucked away in their graves, illustrious careers, or comfy suburban family lives, I felt a sense of relief. I would never again have to read about the neaderthalic Dursleys, Hermione and Ron's stupid romance, Harry's superiority, the hyper-super-extra-puro evil of Voldemort, or a hundred other once-charming, now-tired scenarios. Maybe HP books aren't so much like crack, but more like the Peter Pan ride at Disneyland? Instead of desperately wanting more rocks (books), you're just stuck on the ride. You could jump off the 4 foot high car and stomp out, but you feel wrong about doing it, and so sit through the whole long, too cutesy, decreasingly charming affair.
I've either kicked or the ride has ended. Either way, I'm free!
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1 comment:
Yo dawg-
Just to set the record straight--I've read all the HP books. I thought the last was a let down (esp that pathetic epilogue bit). I also have a shelf full of comics. And a two shelves full of booze. Speaking of, are you guys in Oxford long enough for me to send you the Good Spirits? I'm guessing you can't get it over there, and figure you'll dig it.
Salute-
A.J.
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